In 2019 I am determined to face a fear. And I bring you along on my journey. But before I tell you my fear, I figured I would give you some back story.
Over two years ago I made an observation. All of the wedding images and wedding photographers I was deeply inspired by (and was drooling over) had one thing in common. They were all film.
I have my Bachelors degree in Fine Art Photography and had the chance to shoot a lot of film during college. But shooting film at a wedding? That would be a whole other story.
But the thought of film would not leave me alone.
The reason is, the heart of my photography style is soulful storytelling. Images with real emotion, and heart to them. Film has a way of bringing that out. I have a passion for helping my couples slow down and be in the moment, and shooting film is a slower paced more intentional process.
This brings us to about a year ago. I decided. I wanted to switch over to film. Someday. It was one of my goals for 2018. I wrote it in my Powersheets. But I didn’t make it a priority. And nothing happened.
Because I was afraid.
But didn’t know it. I just made excuses. Oh, I’m to busy this month. It’s too expensive to start right now. I don’t have the right equipment. And on and on.
Some of my excuses had truth to them but it was my fear that was really holding me back. I wanted to be good shooting film right away and was afraid I wouldn’t be. Afraid my dream would turn out to be a failure. But only those who don’t try are immune to failure. Yet they accomplish nothing. So I decided to actually go for it. To give it my all. I might not be good but I knew I can get better.
And so I ordered the film. I borrowed the Pentax 6×7 from a friend. And I started to take photos.
The whole experience was much less frightening and far more exciting then I could have imagined. But I knew a lot can go wrong when photographers first start out with color film so I expected the worst but I knew if I got the worst it would be okay. Because it would be one step forward in the right direction and no matter what I can learn and grow from it. But I couldn’t grow if I didn’t start. So as I stood at the front desk at Goodman Film Lab and handed my one roll over to a friendly man named Matt, I let out a deep breath.
And when I got the link to my film scans less than a week later, I took another deep breath. It will be okay if all of them are blank and terrible. But to my delight the images weren’t terrible. They are beautiful (all the images in this post are from that first roll). I studied them and learn what I can do better. Most obviously get my focus right – manual focus is so hard haha.
The images weren’t perfect. And it doesn’t matter. I can’t wait to go out, use what I’ve learned and shoot as much as I can.
And that is because I have a goal to be a full-fledged film photographer by the end of this year. And you my friend are going to be my accountability. I am bringing you along the journey and sharing my progress (and failures too) each month!
January’s Goal: Shoot one roll of 120 Film at least one session this month. Wish me luck!